


A Study in Text

by LittleMissLuna



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Johnlock Fluff, M/M, Science Experiments, Texting, hinted mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissLuna/pseuds/LittleMissLuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock goes away for a case, leaving John back at 221B alone. These are the texts they send.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An old import from fanfiction.net. This was written before series 3 so no spoilers are involved. Hope you like :)

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:41 AM**

Mrs hudson says you left early this morning for a case

You'd better have a good excuse for not taking me with you

Where are you?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:42 AM**

Client in Oxford.

Inconvenient distance from your work.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:50 AM**

I don't work sundays, you know that

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:51 AM**

You do, however, work Mondays, and this case will likely keep me from the flat for several days.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:51 AM**

Also, pick up milk before I get back.

SH

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:19 PM**

Sherlock what is that smell coming from your bedroom

Mrs hudson can smell it from downstairs

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:21 PM**

Experiment.

SH

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:27 PM**

How did you manage to lock your door from the outside

Its not even that kind of lock

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:28 PM**

Found a trick to open doors with a credit card online

Trying it out now

How's the case going?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:29 PM**

How innovative.

Dull. The husband is obviously the culprit.

I can place him at the scene of the crime in every aspect but availability, and he seems to have alibis for that.

He claims he has asthma and was in the hospital at the time of the murder.

I'll do more research this evening.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:31 PM**

Got the door open

Why is there a dead turtle on your bed

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:32 PM**

Turtle?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:32 PM**

I expect youre going to tell me it's a tortoise

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:33 PM**

No, I meant turtle, singular?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:35 PM**

Oh god theres a live one under your pillow too

Dialing animal control right now

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:36 PM**

And compromise my latest experiment?

You wouldn't dare.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 2:14 PM**

Turtles are now gone

Sorry if i've ruined your experiment

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:15 PM**

Well, that's one Oxford snow globe I won't be purchasing.

Do you know how difficult it was to obtain those turtles?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 2:17 PM**

I didn't want your snow globe anyway

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 2:39 PM**

By the way, where are you staying in Oxford?

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 2:57 PM**

You're not still angry about the turtles right?

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 3:31 PM**

Sherlock? Are you okay?

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 3:59 PM**

I'll buy you some more bloody turtles if that's what this is about.

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 4:14 PM**

Sherlock?

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:24 PM**

Dropped phone in Thames during a chase.

Apparently the husband has allies in the hospital to protect the records and they aren't too keen on letting me get my hands on them.

I'll be using this number until Mycroft comes through and gets me another phone.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:25 PM**

Sheqrlckaryou

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:26 PM**

Sorry, fell asleep

Still waking up

Are you injured?

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:27 PM**

Not injured, just cold and wet.

Would be terribly ironic, though, injured by hospital staff.

Found a quaint if not slightly under-furnished hotel to spend the night in.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:29 PM**

Thats good

Be sure and dry off so you don't catch cold

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:30 PM**

Just occurred to me to ask

Whose phone are you using anyway?

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:31 PM**

Nicked it off the bellhop.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:31 PM**

And before you say anything, I'll have you know he comes from a wealthy family, based on his shoes and cologne.

He's only working as a bellhop because his father wants him to gain work experience.

He can easily afford a new phone.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:33 PM**

Sherlock that's still stealing!

And besides how could you know that

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:35 PM**

You do remember who you're talking to?

His father's business card is in his wallet. He's a lawyer, and for a very successful firm at that.

His family doesn't need money. So he's either working because he wants to or because someone made him.

Earbuds from ipod hidden in hat while he's working says he doesn't take his work seriously.

Therefore, he was forced to work, clearly not for money but for experience.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:38 PM**

Oh my god you took his wallet too

You had better be planning to give those back

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:39 PM**

Don't play good Samaritan with me, John.

I had to. His phone was in his wallet.

I'll give them back when Mycroft gives me a new phone.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:40 PM**

That's good, although you still shouldn't have done it

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:41 PM**

Ah, but then I wouldn't have been able to text you.

Don't pretend you wouldn't have been worried.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:42 PM**

Of course i would have worried

I was already worried

And you shouldn't even be talking to me now

Youve just been thrown into the thames

Go and get some rest for gods sake

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:43 PM**

But I don't want to. Sleeping is boring.

It's much more interesting talking to you.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:45 PM**

Then i'll have to remove myself as a temptation

How about this

I'm not going to talk to you until tomorrow

Now go to sleep

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:46 PM**

No.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:46 PM**

Sherlock I mean it.

I won't reply anymore until you get some sleep.

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:47 PM**

Yes you will.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:48 PM**

No I bloody well won't

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:48 PM**

Damn.

 

**TEXT FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**SENT: 8:49 PM**

Goodnight, John.

SH

 


	2. Chapter 2

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:36 AM**

New phone.

Mycroft has proven himself unusually useful.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 4:39 AM**

Good morning to you too

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:40 AM**

Sarcasm is decidedly less effective over text, John.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 4:41 AM**

Effective enough for you to know it was sarcasm

Why would you wake me up to tell me you got a new phone

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:42 AM**

Don't be ridiculous.

I woke you up because I'm bored.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 4:43 AM**

Going back to bed

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:43 AM**

You don't fool me, John.

I know you can't sleep once someone wakes you up.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:48 AM**

John. Answer me.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:51 AM**

It's boring at this hotel.

And the in-room coffee is crude and undrinkable.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 4:56 AM**

Bored bored bored.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:02 AM**

I don't even have a gun this time.

Should have taken yours.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:09 AM**

Was taking a shower to wake up

Any news with the case?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:11 AM**

Not much.

Did some research about the hospital workers.

Apparently they've all been involved in some sort of gang violence over the years.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:14 AM**

So a mafia hospital then?

Sounds interesting

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:15 AM**

Not in the slightest. Obvious. Predictable.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:16 AM**

Right then

Have you tried finding a person that links them together?

That might give you an alias

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:17 AM**

I've already done so.

All aliases are tied to a Mr. Chip Lancaster.

According to criminal records, he's got a tattoo in an intimate place.

If I can prove the design and placement matches with the victim's husband, I've got him.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:19 AM**

And just how do you get him to reveal his tattoo

Tell him to show you his arse?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:20 AM**

Of course not.

I'll have to get him to reveal it himself.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:21 AM**

What do you mean

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:28 AM**

 

Sherlock, you can't mean you're going to seduce this man.

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:28 AM**

Knew you'd get there eventually.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:31 AM**

You can't be serious!

What if he's carrying some disease?

You can't put yourself into a situation where you'll be vulnerable like that.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:32 AM**

Don't kid yourself, John.

It's perfectly clear that your concern over my actions stems more from jealousy than actual worry.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:33 AM**

I'm not jealous of you for buggering a random bloke!

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:33 AM**

Come now.

We both know that's not what I was referring to.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:35 AM**

Are you suggesting that I want you to bugger ME instead?

Because that's absolutely ridiculous.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:36 AM**

Is it?

Your responses say otherwise.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:37 AM**

You've deduced something wrong.

I haven't done anything but deny it.

How could you possibly have come up with that?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:38 AM**

When you're relaxed, you don't punctuate and you forget commas in your contractions.

When you're nervous or worried, however, you type in full sentences with perfect punctuation.

You only started doing that when I mentioned sleeping with Lancaster.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:41 AM**

What ar u tlking about

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:41 AM**

And now you're making intentional errors to convince me otherwise.

Pitiful, John.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:46 AM**

Look, you've obviously made a mistake somewhere.

I would bloody well know if I were attracted to you.

Besides, I've got a date with Sarah tonight.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 5:47 AM**

And did you decide to ask Sarah out before or after I made you question your sexuality?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 5:51 AM**

Stuff it, Sherlock.

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:07 PM**

You haven't thanked me for the phone, dearest brother.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:08 PM**

Piss off.

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:08 PM**

You're welcome.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:09 PM**

PISS. OFF.

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 2:16 PM**

The Doctor will come around, you know.

MH

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 7:30 PM**

How was the date?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 7:32 PM**

You mean 'how is the date going'

Just finished dinner

Sarah and i are heading back to the flat

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 7:33 PM**

Fine.

How is the date going?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 7:35 PM**

:)

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 7:35 PM**

You know how I feel about using emoticons to express your feelings.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 7:36 PM**

That's because your only emotions are disgust and disinterest

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 7:37 PM**

Regardless, I don't see how you hope to get an entire message across with a smiley face.

Humans are more complex than that, John.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 7:38 PM**

:P

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:19 PM**

BLOODY HELL SHERLOCK

WHAT IN GODS NAME WERE YOU THINKING

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 8:20 PM**

I expect the cadavers have arrived.

I bargained with Molly for them.

I just told her to bring them over whenever.

Rather unfortunate timing, actually.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:34 PM**

You realize this is what Sally meant when she said one day we'd discover bodies and you'd be the one who put them there

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 8:35 PM**

Pish posh. I wasn't the one who killed them.

Sarah wasn't pleased, I take it?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:36 PM**

She's just gone home in a cab

I hope you know youre paying the fare

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 8:37 PM**

She wasn't going to sleep with you, anyway.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 8:44 PM**

Bit not good, Sherlock.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 8:45 PM**

Don't be such a child, John.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 8:57 PM**

John?

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:29 PM**

You definitely owe me a thank you for arranging that little stunt.

It took a while to convince Molly to deliver them while John was out, but I eventually got her to agree in exchange for a few of your headshots.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:30 PM**

I knew there was a reason you had those photographers tail me last week.

And I'm certainly not thanking you for making John angry with me.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:32 PM**

You don't need me to make John angry with you.

Have you gotten proof of the tattoo yet?

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:33 PM**

Not yet, but I've been spying on him long enough to suggest that bedding him will be easy.

What type of person do you executive types usually go for?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:36 PM**

Hmm, difficult question.

I'd say someone just competent enough to understand that I should be left to my vices.

Someone who appreciates my genius but is just a bit too stubborn to admit it.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:37 PM**

You do realize you've given a near perfect description of Detective Inspector Lestrade.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:38 PM**

Have I?

MH


	3. Chapter 3

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:03 AM**

Are you awake

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:04 AM**

If you are pretend youre not

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:06 AM**

Ive been thinking a lot about things

About you

And i think you might have been right

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:10 AM**

Have you slept with that man yet

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:11 AM**

I cant stand the thought of him touching you

Running his hands all over you

Like he could even begin to deserve you

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:14 AM**

Does anybody deserve you

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 1:17 AM**

Wish i did

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:24 AM**

Is there any way to wipe out a particular phone's sent messages?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:25 AM**

Ah, so those texts were to you. I thought they might be.

One of my cameras spotted him hunched over his phone in his usual pub.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:25 AM**

Can you do it or not?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:26 AM**

The best I can do is completely wipe his phone's memory.

That will delete his message history, contacts, et cetera.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:27 AM**

Fine, that will do.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:27 AM**

Is this what you really want, Sherlock?

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:29 AM**

I don't want John having a panic attack when he discovers he's revealed his lust for me via drunken text message.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:30 AM**

I wasn't asking about John.

What do you want, Sherlock?

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:31 AM**

You know the answer to that.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:35 AM**

Done.

I have a lovely little case you can work on to pay me back.

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:36 AM**

Fine. Send me the files.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:37 AM**

No protesting?

Just what is it about this doctor that afflicts you so?

MH

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:38 AM**

If I knew that, I would tell you.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES**

**SENT: 1:38 AM**

No, you wouldn't.

MH

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:04 PM**

Sherlock?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:06 PM**

Yes?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:06 PM**

Oh thank god its really you this time

I got pissed last night, must have dropped my phone and lost the memory

I texted six other people before I could remember your number

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:07 PM**

Seventh time's the charm, then.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:12 PM**

Have you confirmed the existence of Lancaster's tattoo yet?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:13 PM**

If by that you mean have I slept with him, no.

Turns out Mycroft has a man in the Oxford police.

He was able to present enough evidence to warrant a strip search.

I'm headed there now.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:14 PM**

That's good

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:16 PM**

About the progress, I mean.

When can I expect you back?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:17 PM**

Not terribly late.

Around seven, if all goes well.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:17 PM**

Good, we can go out for a bite

Unless by some miracle youve been maintaining a proper diet over the last few days

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:18 PM**

Eating regularly is as unnecessary as it is annoying.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:19 PM**

Even so you left the pantry empty

Its been ages since ive had real food

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:20 PM**

Nonsense, John.

There's a new can of soup in the cupboard.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:21 PM**

Apparently no one taught you the difference between new and unopened

That soup expired before world war two

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 12:22 PM**

Point taken. See you at seven.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:22 PM**

God i can't wait

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 12:25 PM**

For the food, I mean.

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:14 PM**

Case closed.

I'll be home shortly.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:18 PM**

What happened?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:19 PM**

Standard procedure.

I was able to confirm his connection to various criminal aliases using the tattoo and witness testimony.

He confessed to the murder of his wife within minutes.

Honestly, most criminals have no idea how to properly commit a crime.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:20 PM**

You might want to avoid saying that around the yard

How are you getting home?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:21 PM**

Cab.

The ride is proving to be hideously dull, especially since the cabby has decided to ignore me.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:23 PM**

Did he start ignoring you because you told him his wife was cheating on him

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:24 PM**

Of course not.

Why would I say that when it's perfectly obvious that he's the one doing the cheating?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:25 PM**

Most people don't enjoy having their own misdeeds tossed back in their face

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:26 PM**

And it's that exact kind of dishonesty with oneself that contributes so heavily to the failure of the human race.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:27 PM**

People need to hide from themselves sometimes, sherlock

It may be the only thing keeping them sane

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:28 PM**

Sometimes it causes misunderstandings as well.

These misunderstandings lead to crimes and tragedies.

There would be considerably less crime if people would just learn to be honest with each other.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:30 PM**

And more hurt feelings too

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:14 PM**

That's exactly what I've never understood.

This "hide feelings to spare feelings" thing.

It never made any sense to me until you, John.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:14 PM**

What

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:15 PM**

Sorry.

What do you mean?

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:16 PM**

I've always just told people exactly what I'm thinking.

It's never bothered me if someone gets offended because I've pointed out their flaws or reminded them of something they'd rather forget.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:17 PM**

Similarly, I can tell when people are being dishonest.

It's so easy to read people, to use their feelings to my advantage.

I've never had any problem doing it before.

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:18 PM**

I suppose that means you can read me, too.

Bloody hell.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:19 PM**

That's the thing, John.

I CAN read you. I SEE you.

I see how you look at me and yet I can't bring myself to act.

I've never cared how anyone would react to being analyzed until you.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:20 PM**

Why am I hesitant when I can see everything so clearly?

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:25 PM**

I hope I've got this figured right, otherwise this will be very embarrassing.

From what I've gathered, you've deduced that I fancy you.

You want to act on it, but because I haven't said anything, you won't because you think I might be unprepared.

God I hope I'm right.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:27 PM**

And how would you react if I said you were correct?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:28 PM**

That depends on how you would react if I were to snog you senseless the moment you walk in the door.

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:28 PM**

I think that could be arranged.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:31 PM**

;)

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:32 PM**

John, we've discussed this before.

Can't you be a little more personable?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:33 PM**

Sometimes you only need a face to express how you're feeling

And besides, i thought all people were idiots

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 6:34 PM**

Most of them are.

You, however, are my personal idiot, which puts you a step above the rest, I suppose.

You can always attempt to learn through osmosis.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:36 PM**

:) :) :)

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 6:37 PM**

Come home soon

 

* * *

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:43 AM**

You didn't buy any milk.

I'm disappointed, John.

 

SH

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:45 AM**

Usually the morning after you wake up next to a person and not a phone

Where are you

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:46 AM**

Downstairs.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:47 AM**

And you decide to text instead of talk

Why am i even surprised

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 9:48 AM**

Talking would require going back upstairs.

Besides, I have to keep an eye on the spleens.

If they cool too much I won't get accurate results.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:48 AM**

What spleens

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 9:49 AM**

Never mind

I'll be in the shower

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:07 AM**

Out

Have i gone mad or do I smell bacon and eggs

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:08 AM**

I thought you'd prefer it to the smell of rotting turtle carcass.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:08 AM**

I hope you washed your hands after touching the spleen

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:09 AM**

Of course I did. Do you take me for a barbarian?

And currently the spleens are safely defrosting in the fridge.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:11 AM**

That's where the eggs are too

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:11 AM**

They're in separate containers, of course.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:16 AM**

Now theres something burning

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:18 AM**

Why would they put a setting on the toaster that produces black toast?

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:19 AM**

Haha maybe skip the toast then

Thanks for breakfast

Be down as soon as i dress

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:20 AM**

You can pay me back by unpacking my suitcase.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:20 AM**

Fat chance of that happening

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:29 AM**

The socks go in drawer on the top left.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:30 AM**

I hate you

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:30 AM**

I do believe last night provides evidence to the contrary.

Now come downstairs before your bacon turns to ice.

SH

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:31 AM**

Okay let me just finish up here

 

**TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON**

**SENT: 10:34 AM**

Thanks for the snow globe

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:34 AM**

<3

 

**TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**SENT: 10:35 AM**

What have you done to me, John Watson?

SH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really awkward to post this on ff.net because the little "<3" heart thing doesn't work there. I had to make this giant heart out of raw text and it still looked really stupid ;_;
> 
> Anyhow, thanks for reading! See you next time.


End file.
